2015 Wrap Up

The first half of 2015 stunk. Rob was sick, had two surgeries and was out of work.  About the midway point through things turned around.  Rob was feeling better, surgeries were done AND we found out we were going to have another baby!  So things were looking up, I turned 30, we took a mini-vacation and were able to get back to 'normal'

I can't remember exactly what happened but here is the gist of 2015

January

• Rob was sick, and just started to head back to work part time toward the end of the month.
• I started working again

February

• Um, probably just working this month and going about daily life

March

• Rob had surgery number 2.  Recovery was smoother this time around.

April

• We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary

May

• Rob turned 31 
• A few days later he had his final surgery.  I was blown away at how quickly he was recovering (still a process, but he was home in just days this time)
• Found out about baby number 2!!!

June

• Party to celebrate Rob feeling better \

July

• Eleanor's first baseball game

August

September

• I got my wisdom teeth out (it was pouring when I left the office-thus my appearance looking even worse)
• Eleanor's first trip to my parents cabin
• Rob had a trip to the ER.  First one since his surgery, but he wasn't admitted and we were heading back home a few hours later
• Anatomy scan for the baby.  We stayed team green and are waiting until birth to find out the sex
• 
• My 30th birthday (and my dad's 60th -same day!)
• Took a mini vacation to Shipshewana for my birthday

October

• Eleanor turned 2
• Last Halloween Rob spent in the hospital and for much for the whole holiday season that followed so just having him home and around was really nice. 

November

December

• Rob's baptisim
• 

Hoping for a better year in 2015

So it's been weeks since I posted and there is an explanation.

I mentioned a while ago about Rob having some health issues.  From the end of September when they began until early December we made 6 er trips, 4 requiring hospitalization. We spent so much money on pain medications and prescriptions flying past that deductible.   Doctors visits were at least weekly plus lab work and everything.

At the beginning of the December the decision was made to remove his colon and he had surgery.  He spent a few more weeks in the hospital recovering.  During the surgery part of his pancreas was damaged so blood sugar levels are now a issue and he takes insulin (although the hope is this isn't permanent and has to monitor his blood sugar levels multiple times a day.

The week after the surgery he had a blood transfusion as well which he was really hesitant to do but knew he needed it.

He hasn't worked in months (since shortly after Eleanor's birthday).   He's slowly getting stronger, but is still down 50lbs from when this started and doesn't really have much energy.  Really we only leave the house to go to the weekly appointments.

This week he was able to get his drain out that was put in due to fluid build up the week after the surgery.  That was a huge boost to his spirits because without it he can move around so much better.  The tubing doesn't hang down and get in his way and catch on things.  

He still has the illestomy bag and will until the summertime.  He will need two more surgeries before he can get rid of that.

On top of his constant frustration at being in pain all.the.time comes the stress at having no income (although the generosity shown to us by friends, family and stranger has been so unbelievably amazing.  Seriously we have been constantly overwhelmed and blown away).

I am going to start a babysitting job soon which won't bring in much money at all and will be a lot of work, but it's something and will cover a few of our smaller expenses.

As far as me I've struggled too.  I feel like I get overlooked by most in this process but it's been really tough on me.  I have had to do almost 100% of Eleanor's care.  I have to take care of her, and Rob.  It's been hard to balance their needs.  And constantly having to be 'on' means no mental break for me.  Rob can't even lift her - although now he is able to sometimes sit on the floor with her - so I can't even have him watch her for a few minutes while I run to the store or something.

Anyway 2014 didn't end on the best of notes, but I'm optimistic that 2015 WILL be better.

Changing My Tune: Supporting A Sick Husband

A month and a half or so ago Rob decided to eat healthier and instead of fast food for lunch got salads and fruit.  A week later Rob started to feel have stomach pain, and asked about it at his yearly physical, and was told it was most likely do to the diet change.

But the pain didn't get better, and instead got much worse.  He couldn't work and when he did work he would come home early and be done for.  He'd be in bed or on the couch until the next morning.  He skipped birthday parties and hanging out with friends.

Then we went to the ER (on the 12th) and found out there was some colon problems.  This from a cat scan, and blood work.  Two days later he was able to get in for a colonoscopy (a miracle that he got in so soon!).  The diagnosis:  Pan Colitis (ulcerative colitis).  At this point he has about 4 different medications (pain and anti-inflammatory).  

And still he doesn't get better.  Cue more labs and prescriptions and days off work or leaving early.

Oh and cue me being beyond stressed because he's unable to provide  care for Eleanor.  On a good day I can take a quick shower while she plays on the floor and Rob's on the couch without her banging on the door or Rob needing the bathroom.

And it's taking a toll on our marriage as well.  I'm stressed and annoyed at him for getting to sit down.  It's irrational I know.  I know he's in pain, but every moan he makes causes me to roll my eyes.  Oh sure I'm acting the loving wife and getting what he needs & dealing with Eleanor.

Then this weekend I started to feel guilty.  It's not his fault and I can't add more stress to his plate.  So I'm changing my tune and showing him more support and not rolling my eyes and complaining.

He might not have done what I needed for me those times I was sick or in pain in the past, but I'm not doing this as something to throw in his face.

I couldn't fall asleep last night, and when I finally did Rob woke me up in pain and back to the ER we went this morning at 4 am.  (So thankful for my dad for staying with Eleanor-  he just retired from being  a third shifter and so he doesn't sleep well at night and was awake when I called him)

It's taken a physical toll on him (he's lost 20 lbs in a month), a mental toll on me and it's been a struggle financially.  This is a time of year where we have higher bills due to energy and heating costs, car insurance and the holidays.

So prayers for all of us will be much appreciated and if you have advice or tips on dealing with this please leave me a comment.