Tuesday, January 29, 2013

5 weeks

I alternate between waiting for the other shoe to drop and being hopeful I may actually be bringing home a baby this fall.

How far along:  5 weeks

Baby Size:  An appleseed, or a bb (that was a better analogy for my husband the hunter :) )

Weight:  119.2 (down from 122.8)

 Still lots of cramping, sore/ heavy feeling in my boobs (its not really that bad) getting tired more easily, and mild nausea but that's not bad either.  Last night at 8:45 I couldn't keep my eyes open.  I don't know the last time I was that tired, and it was so sudden.  It may be pregnancy related or progesterone related, but I was exhausted.

Maternity Clothes: No

Sleep: I have been getting up a lot at night to pee

Cravings/Food Aversions:  Nothing yet, although sometimes nothing sounds good and I have to force myself to find something to eat.

Belly Button: In

Gender: Unknown.  Rob wants to know, but I don't know if I do.

Name: Unsure.  We have a few we have liked for a while.

Milestones:  Making it farther this pregnancy than in my others.

Looking forward to: My first ultrasound next week, although I'm not really expecting to see anything.  I'll be 6 weeks 2 days by ovulation date, 6 weeks 5 days by date of last period.

What I miss: Not having to stress about every cramp and twinge, and seeing blood every time I go to the bathroom.

Appointments: February 7

Still nervous and getting stressed out.  I wish I could do another blood draw.  And my progesterone prescription was changed from 100 mg vaginally 4 times a day to 200mg orally twice a day.  I suck at taking pills.  I really can't do it; I cough/choke them down.  Taking the pills vaginally I never noticed side effects and now I feel them for sure.  I feel drunk with them and exhausted. 

We had baby dedications at church on Sunday.  It made all teary eyed. :)

5 weeks.  No bump yet. 

Friday, January 25, 2013

Friday Five 1/25

1)  Biggest news of the week is that I'm pregnant again! 

2) Seriously one of the nicest things happened yesterday. I was out shoveling the sidewalk and this neighbor (who I don't know) came down with his snow blower and told me to take a break. He not only did the sidewalk but also the driveway. I tried to get his attention to thank him, but he didn't hear me so I looked to see what house he went to.  I sent a thank you note over along with a $5 gift card I had to Subway. 

3) Rob has been really helpful lately.  Not just because of pregnancy, but the last month or two he has really stepped up with helping around the house.  I know I don't work full time and I try to get stuff done and cook on my off days, but sometimes I just lack motivation and energy.  He used to just go sit down after dinner and leave me to clean up everything.  Now he helps me take care of stuff.  Same with when I would be folding laundry in the living room.  He would just watch me do it.  Now he helps. 

3) We babysat our niece and nephew for a little bit last Friday.  I love watching Rob with them.  He's getting pretty comfortable around babies and it melts my heart.  I tried to get him to change the diaper but he wouldn't.  Oh but come October he WILL be changing diapers. :)

4) This week has been so cold.  At one point the windchill was -17.  At least when I checked, it may have been lower, and I wouldn't be surprised.  It's been snowing and I have no desire to leave the house. 

5) Ever since I started posting on the bump a year or two ago, I feel connected to some of the people who post on the various boards.  I've never met these ladies, never will meet them and I don't even know their real names.  But I still get excited when they get pregnant or have babies, or good things happen to them.  On the flip side I get sad and my heart breaks for them when bad/sad things happen.  With that said I'm asking for prayers for one of them.  Yesterday at 23 weeks 3 days pregnant with twins she went into labor.  They have managed to slow it down, but the outcome doesn't look good.  She needs lots of prayers so send them up if you got them.  These ladies have been an encouragement to me after my losses and even with this pregnancy so I want to return the favor. 

Thursday, January 24, 2013

More pregnant than I've ever been (4weeks 2 days)

Today is the most pregnant I've ever been!

Last night I had 2 beta related dreams.  In one my hcg dropped to 19 & the other it went up to 400.  On Monday it was at 32.  I was a wreck waiting to hear back.  I called at 1:45 because I hadn't heard; and they called me back shortly after.  It's at 110! That's a pretty good rise.  I'll take that!

There was a mix up at the lab yesterday and I almost did cry.  They (the check in desk) had the order for the progesterone draw which was supposed to happen today (Thursday).  What I needed was the hcg and they didn't have that.  I couldn't get a hold of my office (it was 4:40 at this point). Luckily the lab tech was able to somehow find a scanned copy of the first order that said the hcg needed to be checked after 48 hours.

I'm going to have progesterone checked this afternoon.

I really need to stop peeing on things.  I'm going to do a digital today just to show Rob and then a frer over the weekend and then I really need to stop.  I'll have him hide them from me.

My first appointment/ultrasound is in 2 weeks.  I doubt much will be visible.  I'll only be 6 weeks 2 days, but I don't care.

I told my sister yesterday.  Rob told her husband on Saturday and I'm sure she knew.  She called me yesterday and at one point said something along the lines of 'Have you been to the doctor/had any appointments lately?"  Totally a fishing statement.
Me: 'I know you know"
Her: "Know what?"
Me: "That I'm pregnant again"
Her: "Whaaat?"

I'm so relieved right now that the hcg levels looked good, but I'm still nervous. Thanks for all the encouragement!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

4 weeks (and beta#1 results)

How far along:  4 weeks

Weight:  122

Symptoms: Dry mouth, cramping (it was pretty bad over the weekend), nausea, pooping a lot (sorry, I know it's gross)

Maternity Clothes: No

Sleep: I do seem to be more tired.

Cravings:  nothing.

Belly Button: In

Gender: Unknown, and we are still deciding if we are team find out or team green.

Name: Unsure.  We have a few we have liked for a while.

Milestones: If I can make it to Friday it will be the most pregnant I've ever been.

Looking forward to: Everything!

What I miss: Not having to stress about every cramp and twinge, and seeing blood every time I go to the bathroom.

Appointments:  Yesterday was beta #1 (hcg@32 and progesterone@13.7).  My progesterone is low (they want it to be 19 at least), so I'm going from 100mg once a day to 400mg (100 twice a day) every day.  Tomorrow I go back for beta #2 (to check hcg levels, they need to double) and then 48 hours after the progesterone increase I go back to check that.  So that will probably be Thursday afternoon.

Lines are getting darker so that makes me a little hopeful.

Top to Bottom, 11dpo, 12dpo and 14dpo.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Beliving in signs (3 weeks, 6 days)

Normally I'm not really a believer of signs but today I kind of want to be.
1) I hardly ever listen to the radio on the way to work, but I turned it on to hear the weather/roads and the song I posted last week just happened to come on.  I know it is a popular song at the moment, but the timing was good and I may have teared up a little.

2) There were poppyseed chicken in the fridge today.  My baby is the size of a poppyseed today.

These could be and probably are just coincidences, but I'm going to take what I can.

I didn't test today because hopefully I can have my hcg levels checked today.  I feel really nervous, but at the same time it was kind of nice to not analyze lines.

I called, but my doctor is in surgery this morning so I have to wait until he gets in.

I had bad cramping this weekend.  Like rest on the couch and a heating pad kind.  It's gone away.  I'm not sure what that means.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

I'm Pregnant Again

Remember I posted about my dream  the other day?  Well, for the following 2 nights I had pregnancy related dreams.
Today I found out I am pregnant for the third time.  I want to be excited, but I'm scared because of the previous losses.
I'm 3 weeks 4 days right now, due October 1.

More details to come later.


Friday, January 18, 2013

Friday five 1.18.13

1) I had the following text conversation with my sister the other day.
Her: did you get my email?
Me: yes
Her: does that work for you?
Me: yeah
Her: are we fighting?
Me: no
Her:  well miss one word Answers
Oh I laughed.  Hello, those are yes or no questions.  What more could I say?
Silly sister.

2) I took the kids I babysit for to the children't museum this week  A loved it! It's a lot of fun, but I was  tired and hungry when we left after a few hours.  They had never been there before.  I wish it been around when I was a kid.  Actually though my senior prom was held there.  I don't have pictures on the computer or I would post some. 

3) Speaking of senior prom I got an invite for my (our) ten year reunion this week  Honestly how has it been ten years?  

My high school graduation.  My parents and I. 

4)  Weirdest thing happened at work today. This man came to the door saying he bought a pop in and it somehow got into his transmission and his car won't work and he needed a tow truck. He was parked at the corner.  I gave him the phone book and he walked back to his car. The story just sounded crazy.  Then a half an hour later his wife (I assume) came to the door returning it and asking if she could use the bathroom.  I said no, I don't feel comfortable with that.  I kind of felt bad, but I was not about to let a stranger into someone else's house.  I wouldn't even let them into mine, and I would never ask to use a stranger's bathroom. 

5) I made banana bread tonight, and it was delicious!  I love it, but always thought it was complicated to make.  I found an easy recipe and I will make it again for sure. 

    Managing My Money week 3

    Day 15- Jan 13

    Day 16-Jan 14

    Day 17- Jan 15
    $38.23-dental premium

    Day 18- Jan 16

    Day 19- Jan 17
    I only spent so much because Rob was with me.  I could have spent less than $10 if I was buy myself.

    Day 20- Jan 18

    Day 21-Jan 19
    Wesco gas- $25.61

    Day 22-Jan 20
    $15 tithe at church

    Total $120.94

    I did pretty good this week I think.

    Three things Thursday (on Friday)

    Favorite foods:
    1) Pasta! I could eat it everyday
    2)Salt & Vinegar kettle cooked chips
    3) Cheesy potatoes

     Any Tattoos: None

     Dream Jobs:
    1) I'd love to teach parent classes (like what gear your baby really needs, activities to do with preschoolers etc...)
    2) Stay at home mom (obviously when we have kids)
     3) When I was a kid I wanted to be the one who named cabbage patch dolls. Honestly I still think that would be fun.

    Wednesday, January 16, 2013

    If dreams were real

    Then I would totally be knocked up.  I had a dream that I got a positive test on a wondfo at 8dpo (which is what I am at today).  I was laying in bed at my parents house (how did I even get the pee to test it?) and it was such a strong positive I could see it in the dark (huh?).  
    I remember being excited because on my previous pregnancies my lines were never that dark, and never really got past faint to be honest (and that really is true).  I tried to be sneaky and wrap it in a tissue/toilet paper to go to the bathroom, but I think my mom knew something was up. She asked me what I was doing and I was like 'oh yeah, um monthly time stuff.  I opened the drawer when the stuff was kept when I was living there, and there were lh surge sticks (which in my dream were pregnancy test strips).  They were long and oval shaped.
    I didn't wake up thinking this must be a sign.  In fact, I didn't even test today.  My temp was down from yesterday so I didn't feel the need to.
    I suppose it is possible I am, but I highly doubt it.

    Monday, January 14, 2013

    Managing My Money Week 2

    I did good this week until Saturday & then it was downhill.  My online banking was down so I didn't know how much was in my account unless I went to the atm, and I was do lazy to do that, so I just didn't spend money until Saturday.

    Day 8- Jan 6

    Day 9- Jan 7
    $14 (Haircut)

    Day 10-Jan 8

    Day 11- Jan 9

    Day 12- Jan 10

    Day 13- Jan 11

    Day 14- Jan 12
    $56.25 (prescription for progesterone)
    $25.51   (Shampoo, mouthwash, antibiotic cream, printer paper, file folders)
    $55 at Sam's club (toilet paper, cheese, ground beef and tea)
    $57.05 Aldi's (misc groceries)

    Total: $207.81
    Yikes!  I will do better next week.

    Friday, January 11, 2013

    And another post

    About my losses.  I do my best to try to not make every post about it, but it happens.
    I heard this song on the way home tonight.

    I'm sure pregnancy loss was not the intention of the writer, but it works.

    friday five 1.11.13

    I'll start you off with a funny story. 
    1) Rob and I were talking earlier this week about how my sister and her husband are both left handed and I was wondering if their baby would be left handed or right handed.
    And he said 'wouldn't it be funny if they had a right hand baby and we had a left handed baby' (We are both right handed). So I told him our baby would be ambidextrous because it would be that awesome. Rob says 'Yeah that we be nice if I could use both hands.'And then I say this without thinking. 'Yeah that would be handy..'I paused for a moment and then started laughing. 
    One other time I said man that airplane is flying. I meant that it seemed to be flying really fast. Rob just looked at me with this duh look on his face.
    Those puns get me. :)

    (This may be to much info about our sex life for some)
    2) This week was a tougher week with trying to hit as any days during my fertile window (the few days a month where conception is possible).  Rob just didn't want to do it.  I get that saying we need to have sex for  timing purposes is not romantic, and I tried to put cute lingerie on, but Rob was more into the tv than me.  It was frustrating and we fought about it. I know taking a day off is fine, but I wanted to hit as many days as possible.

    3)This caused me to have a little meltdown.  I am taking vitamins and supplements; I temp every morning, I pee in cups and use opk's for a week or more every cycle.  I drink lots of water (at least 60 oz's a day) and do my best to avoid caffeine and alcohol (I still have some of either; but I try to cut back).  All I ask of Rob is one thing, and he can't/won't do it for me.  

    4) And speaking of ovulation.  I was so sure that I ovulated on day 19 (today is day 21) and when I put in my temps yesterday it gave me crosshairs on day 17.  I really wasn't sure how that is possible.  My temps agreed with it, however the fact that I got a positive opk the day AFTER I ovulated it what confused me. 
    Anyway, after this mornings temp, it adjusted it to cd 18 which is more reasonable.  Our timing was still good.  If it adjusts again though our timing won't be.  So I really hope it stays where it is.

    5) Our outdoor Christmas lights are still up.  They were on a timer which Rob turned off last night.  It was time.  We were the only people with them still on.  We became 'those' people. They will come down this weekend. It's supposed to be pretty warm, like 50 degrees warm.  Yeah! I am not a fan of winter. I hate driving in it & having to clean off my car.

    Thursday, January 10, 2013

    Three Things Thursday

    I saw this posted over on Eco Baby Mama Drama and thought it was fun.  I don't participate in link ups because the ones I see are geared toward pregnancy and parenting, and while I would love to be there, I'm not yet.  Hopefully soon.  :)  This one was one I could participate in though. Yea!

    Favorite Tv Shows
    1) Bones
    2) Psych
    3) How I met your mother

    1) 2 in each ear (although I never wear earrings).
    2) I used to have my left cartilage but I let it close up.

    Places I want to visit
    1) Denver; Everyone who has ever been to Colorado raves about it.
    2) Grand Canyon, just to see the beauty of it
    3) Seattle.  I did a state report on Washington in ninth grade (which was 14 years ago. Yikes!) and have wanted to go ever since.

    Saturday, January 5, 2013

    Managing my money-Week 1

    I posted earlier this week about needing to be accountable for the things I spend my money on so here goes.

    Day 1-Dec 30th
    $20 Church tithe
    $5 Amazon (Sophie teether, 2 packs of ring links, and a 25ct of wondfo pregnancy tests).  I had gift cards earned through swagbucks which is why my total was so low.

    Day 2-Dec 31

    Day 3-Jan 1

    Day 4- Jan. 2
    $40.51 Meijers
    This was more than I intended to spend, but I did get some great deals
    Milk was free with mperks code.
    Juice was 2/4 on sale but I had an mperks for buy 2 get 1 free so I got 3 for $4
    I got some more penantal vitamins.  I had a rain check for them for $7, but this week I had an mperks for $1 off vitamins.  I had a jar at home, but was going to get another at that price ($6), but they were buy one get one free so I got 2 jars for $6 and they are normally $10 each and that combined with the vitamins I already had means I am set until April.
    I bought some Pom juice also.  It was $1 cheaper than the last store I got it from.  Plus it had an attached $1 coupon off so I got 2 for $6 as opposed to $5 for one at the other store.  I actually also had a .50 coupon but I couldn't double them.
    I also had a $10 gift card from Christmas that I used

    Day 5- Jan 3

    Day 6-Jan 4

    Day 7-Jan 5
    $9 Hobby Lobby
    Christmas floral.  I actually wished I would have bought more because the red one's would have been great for Valentine's day, and I of course didn't think of that until I got home.
    Coat/key hook decoration

    Weekly Total $74.51

    I think I did okay  I almost over drafted though because my online banking was locking me out (not sure why; that's what the actual message said; my password was correct) and couldn't check my balance.  I had to go to the atm to check and I only had $22 so it's a great thing I checked.  I never let it get below $50.

    First Time

    My mom flat out asked me if I was trying to get pregnant today.  I said no.
    I've been asked before when we were going to have kids, but this was the first time I was asked if we were trying.  I don't like to lie but I do not want my mom to know.  She is not a secret, keep it on the down low kind of person.
    As of now 5 people (my sister and her husband, Rob's sister and her husband and my best friend) know we are trying and only because I told them about the losses.

    Thursday, January 3, 2013

    Yes it can

    So my sister who has a friend who tried for a few years to get pregnant. She wasn't charting, using opk's or any thing other than just sex but 2 years later she became pregnant only to lose the baby at 6 weeks. This was a few years ago. I know they have been trying to get pregnant again.
     The night before New Year's Eve I had a dream that I saw on Facebook she was pregnant. I saw her at my sisters on New Year's Eve. She wasn't drinking (she said she had a headache) and she left early because she wasn't feeling well. Her and my sister seemed to have whispered conversations.
     You know where I'm going with this conversation right?
    So I have my suspicions and I say to my sister 'oh I forgot to tell M that I had a dream she was pregnant' and my sister gets this look on her face and says "can you keep a secret?"
    And I knew. I'm really happy for her. I like this girl and she deserves it. She will be a fantastic mom.  I would never actually have told her about the dream because I know it's a sensitive topic.  I'll tell her after she announces it though.
     On of the ttgp girls posted on her blog something along the lines of this recently (I can't remember who or I would give you credit. Tell me of its you). I know I've only been trying for a short time (I think it was 6 or 7 months), and there are women who try for years, and so I shouldn't complain, but it doesn't make it any easier each month. If I knew it would take time I could deal with it, but its the unknow that is what is difficult. The wondering every month if this is it.
     I just wanted to say it struck a cord with me, so thank you for the honesty.

    Tuesday, January 1, 2013

    Wrapping it up

    Like all years 2012 had it's ups and downs.

    Our first anniversary
    In April we celebrated our first anniversary by going back to the hotel we spent our wedding night at.
    A few days after that rob had surgery on his knee and was off work until mid June. This was 2 1/2 weeks after starting a new job.

    Mackinac Bridge
    In June we took a mini-vacation to the U.P  (upper peninsular for those non Michiganders). I hadn't been there in 15 years.  We went with my sister, her husband and another couple.  The boys spent most of the time fishing.  I wanted to sight see, but didn't have a car and was bored the other girls wanted to sit and read the whole time. We did end up going one place but I like vacations to be about seeing new things and felt like this one wasn't.

    In July I finished my first 5k (and probably only one).  I ran about 70% of it, and finished it in just under 35 minutes.  I was still impressed with myself.

    I mid-August I went skydiving for the first time.

    The end of August brought the end of the job I'd had since May of 2007.  I would have loved to stay but the kids were just to old for me.  Boo.
    I also found put my sister was pregnant at the end of August.
    Then after Labor Day I started a new job and am liking it so far.
    In September I found out I was pregnant, and then a few days later I was no longer pregnant.
    In October I became an aunt again to a sweet little girl named Elisabeth (Libby)
    I also found out I was pregnant again in October and once again had a loss a few days later.
    At the very end of the year Rob started another new job.  Really hoping he will stick with this one.

    So yeah, there were great moments,  but I'm ready for a new year.

    My goal for 2013 are to pay off my student loans.  I owe a little under $1,200 so it's doable.  I don't owe a pavement until 2015 because I'm far ahead so that may be a goal for the second half of the year.