Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I need to relax

Every little cramp or twinge is freaking me out.  I know that it can be normal and they aren't really painful, but I want to test every single time.  I seriously had a test in my hand last night and was ready to test, but I didn't and was proud of myself.

Then I woke up this morning and my temp was down, and so I tested and it was the faintest of lines.
I know that it's still early (12dpo) and a line is a line.  But I want dark lines.  I will feel better.

I just can't shake the fear that something will happen again.  Logically it's dumb and nothing I do will change it, but I just feel dread and nervousness.  And I should enjoy this time and be excited.

If I can make it through the weekend I will be more pregnant than I was last time, and I will call and find an ob/gyn and make an appointment.

I just need to chill out and relax.  I know this.  But it's always on my mind; the what if's?


  1. Take a deep breath. Just remember you did all that you can do. It's in God's hands now. Put the pee sticks down. Seriously, it's gonna make you crazy! Just enjoy it today, and take it one day at a time. I know it's hard - if I make it past today I'll be farther along than I was last pregnancy. Just keep yourself busy and STAY POSITIVE! Cheering you on! <3

    1. Thanks for the encouragement. I alternate between being okay with things and then freaking out over everything. I do just need to get through one day at a time. Keep telling me that and it will sink in, I'm sure. :)