Monday, October 27, 2014

Changing My Tune: Supporting A Sick Husband

A month and a half or so ago Rob decided to eat healthier and instead of fast food for lunch got salads and fruit.  A week later Rob started to feel have stomach pain, and asked about it at his yearly physical, and was told it was most likely do to the diet change.

But the pain didn't get better, and instead got much worse.  He couldn't work and when he did work he would come home early and be done for.  He'd be in bed or on the couch until the next morning.  He skipped birthday parties and hanging out with friends.

Then we went to the ER (on the 12th) and found out there was some colon problems.  This from a cat scan, and blood work.  Two days later he was able to get in for a colonoscopy (a miracle that he got in so soon!).  The diagnosis:  Pan Colitis (ulcerative colitis).  At this point he has about 4 different medications (pain and anti-inflammatory).  

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And still he doesn't get better.  Cue more labs and prescriptions and days off work or leaving early.

Oh and cue me being beyond stressed because he's unable to provide  care for Eleanor.  On a good day I can take a quick shower while she plays on the floor and Rob's on the couch without her banging on the door or Rob needing the bathroom.

And it's taking a toll on our marriage as well.  I'm stressed and annoyed at him for getting to sit down.  It's irrational I know.  I know he's in pain, but every moan he makes causes me to roll my eyes.  Oh sure I'm acting the loving wife and getting what he needs & dealing with Eleanor.

Then this weekend I started to feel guilty.  It's not his fault and I can't add more stress to his plate.  So I'm changing my tune and showing him more support and not rolling my eyes and complaining.

He might not have done what I needed for me those times I was sick or in pain in the past, but I'm not doing this as something to throw in his face.

I couldn't fall asleep last night, and when I finally did Rob woke me up in pain and back to the ER we went this morning at 4 am.  (So thankful for my dad for staying with Eleanor-  he just retired from being  a third shifter and so he doesn't sleep well at night and was awake when I called him)

It's taken a physical toll on him (he's lost 20 lbs in a month), a mental toll on me and it's been a struggle financially.  This is a time of year where we have higher bills due to energy and heating costs, car insurance and the holidays.

So prayers for all of us will be much appreciated and if you have advice or tips on dealing with this please leave me a comment.

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