Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Infant and Pregnancy Loss Day

Today, October 15th is national Pregnancy and Infant loss day.

Today also marks exactly a year ago that I found out I was pregnant for the second time.  

It took me a while to really talk about the losses, in part because I didn't want pity, but also because I worried people would say I needed to get over them because they were so early and didn't really matter.

When I did share them, and I am comfortable talking about them now, I got nothing but support and love. Some were curious about how I knew so early, but never was there judging. 

I've learned never to assume someone had an easy time getting pregnant, because you don't always know the back story.  

I've never done this, but never tell someone they can try again or at least you know you can get pregnant, or it's for the best.   Terrible things to say.

Knowing I have a sweet one week old baby who I adore and can't believe is mine makes loss easier, but when I lost a 2nd pregnancy only a month after the first, I didn't know that I would get pregnant again or that I would carry a baby to term.  

There are lots of lists of things to say and do and not to say and do out there, but honestly just listening and being there is the best thing.  Don't give advice or if necessary don't even say anything.  Just be there. 

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