Pretty much every day after 37 weeks I would wake up and wonder if this was going to be the day we would meet our daughter. And then with each passing day I got more and more nervous. Especially as I waved goodbye to 37 weeks, then 38 weeks, and then I passed the 39 week mark. I began to think she wasn't going to come on her own, and just set a date in my mind and said that's when we will meet her. For me I'd been saying 10-3 for a while (which would be 40 weeks 2 days).
And then that day passed, and the next day passed and the next day. By the time I got past 40 weeks I was done. I was frustrated that she wasn't coming and that nothing (sex, walking, bouncing on a ball) was helping.
At 40 weeks 2 days I had an appointment and a non stress test, that went fine, and I scheduled my next appointment for October 7 (Read about it here)
At 40 weeks 4 days I went to my cousins wedding. When she first told me the date I told her I probably wouldn't be there, because I expected to have a newborn. Joke was on me. My extended family was surprised to see me still there. Baby wasn't showing any signs of showing up though so I decided to make the best and have at least one more night out.
I planned to ask about an induction at my appointment at 40 weeks 6 days. I know I wanted to do my best to induce labor naturally, but selfishly I was over it and wanted to meet her.
I wondered if I would even know if I was really in labor. Anytime I would feel off; crampy, nauseous, etc... I'd wonder if this was it. I'd heard that when it's time you'll know, but still I wondered.
I was checked at 35 weeks 3 days and hadn't really made progress, but it was still early so I wasn't worried about it.
I knew baby had her head down (it had been that way from at least 28 weeks), because I could feel her hiccups and the doctor confirmed it again at each appointment.
I'm pretty sure right at 37 weeks she dropped a little because I started to feel pressure when I would be walking that I hadn't felt before. My bump didn't look any lower, but I was breathing just a little easier.
I think one of the things I was nervous about was it happening when Rob was at work and out on a car run. If he was at the shop he could be home in about 30-40 minutes, but otherwise it could be a lot longer. Not that I expected to have to make a mad dash to the hospital being a first time mom and all.
And since I didn't have group b strep I had planned to wait a little longer before going anyway since I didn't need the antibiotics.
So going into I wanted to try an un-medicated birth because I didn't like the idea of being stuck in a bed (if I got an epidural) , but I also knew that I may not be able to handle the pain so kind of planned that I would wind up going that route, so I wouldn't be disappointed or discouraged when it happened and I reacted like this.
I wanted Rob to watch her being born. I just worried he would wind up like this. Haha
Or I would see this face
So I woke up on Sunday morning (40 weeks 5 days), got up and used the bathroom and as I was climbing back into bed I felt a small gush. I went back to the bathroom, wondered if it was my water breaking, but assumed not since I wasn't having contractions and I knew it rarely happened as a first sign. I changed my underwear, put a new pantyliner on and climbed back to bed (with a towel down on top of the sheets in addition to the one underneath). Every time I moved I would leak a little and after 30 minutes I got up, changed my underwear again, put on a heavier pad, and switched towels and slept for about 45 minutes.
When I got back up, Rob was up and I told him that I 'think' my water may have started to leak. 10 minutes later I was sitting on the couch and felt the little gushes and got up with my empty cereal bowl in hand and then started to run. I didn't make it to the bathroom all the way before I had soaked through another pad, another pair of underwear, my shorts and still had fluid running down my legs. I yelled for Rob and then started laughing. He walked in and I was like "uh so I'm pretty sure my water just broke" He said "I've never known you to pee yourself so it must have been."
And then it was like this in the house....
Actually not really. I got in the shower and then called the on-call doctor while Rob took a shower and we finished grabbing some last minute stuff and headed on in.
I was still leaking a ton of fluid (I changed underwear and pads a few more times post shower) and sat on two towels on the way there (I didn't want to leak over my pants so I had on a skirt hiked up to my waist that I pulled back down when we got there.. Rob pulled up to the maternity entrance and even though I was capable of walking I got into the wheelchair. When we got to the triage room I had leaked more...surprise surprise and when I stood I said "yeah you might need to wipe that down"
I was checked and was still at the 3 cm I had been at my last appointment. They mentioned pitocin, but I wasn't ready to go that route yet so I asked for more time.
By 3:00 we had been in our labor room for a little while and I agreed to start pitocin because I still wasn't contracting. I had some issues with the on call being rude about my decision to wait, and I was really upset about it and couldn't stop crying. I wasn't against it, but the fact that she mentioned it even before I was ever to the hospital and constantly pushed it made me mad. I will say that the nurses were amazing and really advocated for me.
So I started it a little after 3 pm on the 6th and they slowly upped it until I was at 10 cm about 12 hours later. Hearing I was complete was awesome.
At around 9 pm I got my epidural. I was 5 cm. I could feel those contractions coming on and would just take my puke bucket (I never actually puked) and would just bury my face in it. I had Rob call the nurse back in, she could tell the pain I was in, and asked if that was what I wanted. I said yes, and the anesthesiologist came in. Having to work through contractions during the placement was kind of rough.
Then the pushing started. I pushed for a few hours in different positions, using different techniques and nothing was happening. I was feeling pressure and her head was visible when I pushed, but she just wasn't moving anymore.
The doctor left the room and I said to Rob something about being okay with a c-section at this point. He was okay with whatever I wanted. I was exhausted. My back was really hurting and I was falling asleep in between pushes, I was going on 21 hours since my water broke, and I was done. I was almost 41 weeks pregnant. I didn't want to have to go that route of c-section, but I didn't feel like a vaginal delivery was going to happen.
So when the doctor came back in and said something about just not making progress and a c-section I said I was okay with it.
After that things moved fairly quickly. There was no emergency, she was doing fine, but they moved things along. They got Rob all scrubbed up, and me prepped to go.
My mom had been there since 9pm the night before, but knowing it would be a few more hours before she could see us again I told her to head home and come back later. She was pretty tired as well.
So I was wheeled to the operating room, they started to prep me the rest of the way, and then Rob was brought in. The anesthesiologist kept poking me and asking which poke hurt worse. I could feel them, but neither hurt and I felt like I was failing a test and didn't know the right answer.
I didn't see this, but apparently they had a timer on the wall that started when they cut into my stomach and they stopped once Eleanor was out. It was under 7 minutes, which Rob thought was cool.
I didn't feel pain, other than my back was really hurting still at this point. I couldn't feel much just some pulling and pushing in my stomach.
I don't think they ever said that she was coming out, and I didn't feel anything different when they pulled her out.
But then we heard her cry. I was unprepared for that moment. I guess I never thought about it, but as soon as I heard that cry it made me cry. I looked over at Rob to see tears in his eyes as well, and had to look away or I really would have been sobbing. Even writing about that moment is making me cry.
(I also don't think they ever said 'It's a girl', but we knew she would be; or at least really hoped she would come out a girl)
In that moment, when she first cried, everything else seemed to fade away, cliche as that might sound. The pregnancy losses of last year, the worrying if baby was going to be okay, the labor that didn't go how I wanted it to, none of it mattered.
At 6:39 am on October 7th 2013 Eleanor Rose was born.
Cue lots of excitement from us.
So they got me all finished up and took us to the recovery room. Eleanor got her first bath and Rob changed his first diaper ever. Ever. Apparently he was waiting because he wanted to say that was the first one he ever changed. And it was her first diaper as well. He actually stopped the nurse from doing it so he could which I thought was adorable.
After a little time in recovery we got up to our postpartum room
The rest of the day passed by with lots of visitors, and trying to get to know our baby.
At one point a nurse came by to help me just stand up next to the bed, but other than that I didn't get up out of bed that first day.
We wound up staying a total of 3 nights in the hospital. The first night was spent in labor and delivery, and the next 2 in out postpartum room. We could have spent one other night, but Rob needed to get back to work, and having him bring us home Wednesday evening was much more convenient than trying to find a ride home. And even if it hadn't been I was ready to go home. I'd been stuck in that tiny room for days.
The first several days home were pretty rough as far as pain goes. Getting in and out of bed & trying to take care of her and myself was awful the first several days. It's gotten much easier though.
I had this picture in my head of how labor would go. I'd have contractions, go to the hospital, they would either break my water or it would break on it's on, I'd push and she'd be born vaginally.
Instead my water broke, contractions didn't start on their on and had to be helped along, I pushed, didn't make progress and had a c-section.
I'm grateful that she is healthy; I just didn't have the birth I thought I would and may never get to experience a vaginal birth. I know that's putting the cart waaaay before the horse, but I hope that I will get to have that experience someday.
I think that pretty much covers it, but if I missed anything or you have any questions ask and I will do my best to answer them.
|The night before my water broke.|
7:45 am Water started to leak in small gushes; wondered if that's what it was
9:45 am No mistaking my water just broke
10 am We showered and called on-call (and of course our phones would choose this moment to not get service), and headed in
11:30 am Arrived at hospital, checked and was still 3 cm
3:15 pm still no contractions stated pitocin at 1ml
4 pm pitocin at 2
4:45 pm pitocin at 4
5: 45 pm pitocin at 5
6:45 pm pitocin at 6
Took a round of stadohl since I wasn't ready for an epidural.
8 pm at 5cm
another round of stadhol
9 pm epidural
9:30 pm pitocin at 10 ml
12 am pitocin to 12 ml
1:45 am 8 cm
3:20 am 10 cm
5:30 decided to have the c-section
6:20 c-section began
6:39 baby Eleanor was born!