I can't believe this is happening again.

I hate hate hate that I have to write this post again.

Yesterday my temp took a HUGE drop and I knew I was out.  No bleeding, but it dropped again today and when I tested with a wondfo at 5:30 it was negative.  I knew I couldn't go back to sleep after that some just laid back int bed and thought I was going to be sick.  Now I just have to wait for the bleeding to start.

Rob was sleeping In the spare room because he didn't want to keep me awake last night. I didn't want to wake him up but at 6:30 I went in there and crawled into bed with him. I needed him. He was a annoyed at first until I told him what happened.  Then he was awesome and just let me cry and held me.  Last time I had a c/p be was supportive the night I told him, but the next day he didn't even call to see how I was doing and didn't come home until late.  I was pissed about that.

His alarm kept going off and he kept hitting the snooze, and I told him that I know he had to get up.  And he was like its okay I can call in.  I know it's tough.  I was so tempted but I work as a nanny and there is no one else, so I didn't want to call in.  Even though being with kids is not at all where I want to be today.  I can be okay with the 3year old, but the 6 month old is making me cry a little.

I just feel like the whole thing is a joke. How can this honestly be happening twice? And in row.  I got pregnant on cycle 2 and was thrilled it happened so fast, but that ended in a c/p.  Then I got pregnant again the next cycle and while I was scared and really nervous, I was really trying to relax. But 2 in a row, something isn't right.  I won't be able to do much this weekend, but I'm going to find an ob/gyn and try to get an appt next week.

Honestly I don't even know if I want to try again for a while. I think I'm going to be taking a break from the whole thing.  No temping, opk's, no being on the bump etc.