Every little cramp or twinge is freaking me out. I know that it can be normal and they aren't really painful, but I want to test every single time. I seriously had a test in my hand last night and was ready to test, but I didn't and was proud of myself.
Then I woke up this morning and my temp was down, and so I tested and it was the faintest of lines.
I know that it's still early (12dpo) and a line is a line. But I want dark lines. I will feel better.
I just can't shake the fear that something will happen again. Logically it's dumb and nothing I do will change it, but I just feel dread and nervousness. And I should enjoy this time and be excited.
If I can make it through the weekend I will be more pregnant than I was last time, and I will call and find an ob/gyn and make an appointment.
I just need to chill out and relax. I know this. But it's always on my mind; the what if's?