I hate hate hate that I have to write this post again.
Yesterday my temp took a HUGE drop and I knew I was out. No bleeding, but it dropped again today and when I tested with a wondfo at 5:30 it was negative. I knew I couldn't go back to sleep after that some just laid back int bed and thought I was going to be sick. Now I just have to wait for the bleeding to start.
Rob was sleeping In the spare room because he didn't want to keep me awake last night. I didn't want to wake him up but at 6:30 I went in there and crawled into bed with him. I needed him. He was a annoyed at first until I told him what happened. Then he was awesome and just let me cry and held me. Last time I had a c/p be was supportive the night I told him, but the next day he didn't even call to see how I was doing and didn't come home until late. I was pissed about that.
His alarm kept going off and he kept hitting the snooze, and I told him that I know he had to get up. And he was like its okay I can call in. I know it's tough. I was so tempted but I work as a nanny and there is no one else, so I didn't want to call in. Even though being with kids is not at all where I want to be today. I can be okay with the 3year old, but the 6 month old is making me cry a little.
I just feel like the whole thing is a joke. How can this honestly be happening twice? And in row. I got pregnant on cycle 2 and was thrilled it happened so fast, but that ended in a c/p. Then I got pregnant again the next cycle and while I was scared and really nervous, I was really trying to relax. But 2 in a row, something isn't right. I won't be able to do much this weekend, but I'm going to find an ob/gyn and try to get an appt next week.
Honestly I don't even know if I want to try again for a while. I think I'm going to be taking a break from the whole thing. No temping, opk's, no being on the bump etc.
Kelle, I'm so sorry. I'm thinking of you. I know it's hard and there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better. Please know that I am with you. Don't ever give up. This will happen for you! I <3 you!
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry!!! I agree with Sabrina, don't give up! You are in my thoughts! Big hugs to you!
ReplyDelete